Insiders have confirmed that disgraced FIFA President Sepp Blatter is set to join Premiership Rugby as an external consultant in 2016.

With the organisation’s top officials having recently announced a huge cover up of salary cap breaches, they are looking at how to ensure the fallout from recent events do not blow back. They have therefore looked to Blatter for his expertise in navigating the murky waters of sporting politics to guide them through this tricky period.

One insider commented “Blatter is seen as the go to guy when it comes to getting things done. He has proven he’s willing to do whatever it takes to get what he wants”. They then went on to cite Blatter’s key role in helping Qatar secure the 2022 FIFA World Cup despite widespread opposition from much of the footballing world.


It is believed that several top clubs were fully behind the appointment of Blatter in the hope his ‘unique negotiation skills’ would be able to help them take their clubs onto a global stage. One club boss even believed that with Blatter’s track record, there was a genuine opportunity to ensure his club qualified for the 2019 World Cup in Japan.

With many commentators already criticising Premiership Rugby for their cover up of the salary cap breaches, those at the top have been keen to cover up the appointment of Blatter for as long as possible. His unique history with FIFA is seen as potentially inflammatory to certain sections of the media, however given his current situation the opportunity was seen as too good to miss.

*Please note this whole story is entirely fictional