Top coaches in rugby are employing ever more innovative ways to ensure that their players are fit – they have nutritionists, fitness gurus, doctors and a whole range of monitoring programmes.

However, I have yet to hear of any of them following the advice of a Tory MP who is convinced that his belief in astrology can be a major help in healthcare –


Apparently he is MP for Bosworth, although I suspect he actually represents Barking. I imagine he would suggest that rugby teams only had forwards born under Taurus, Leo or Aries, Sagittarians and Scorpions would be forced to play on the wing with Pisceans and Aquarians coming off the bench in wet weather.

Obviously all refs would have to have been born between September 23rd and October 22nd (Libra). No Virgos’ would be allowed to play on account of them being lying bastards. I can’t myself see Richard Cockerill or Dean Richards trying to recruit Russell Grant to be honest – as neither seem to be the sort to be avid readers of horrorscopes.


Just in case you’re wondering how I know so much about the signs of the Zodiac, I read it in the Star! (of course not – I may be a twat but at least I’m not a Tory MP!)