As rugby players succumb to the rigours of media training, post-match interviews have become a procession of pointless drivel and annoying cliché’s designed to avoid any kind of PR gaffe.
The increase in irritating cliché’s in rugby is beginning to spiral out of control so here we list 33 of the most annoying of them to help our esteemed professional players and commentators steer clear of such snooze inducing quips.
1. “They’ve Come to Play”
Well what else have they travelled half way across the world for?
2. “Get On Top”
Who the hell wants to be on the losing side (or alternatively stuck underneath a 20 stone prop?)
3. “The Hard Yards”
Let’s face it, these guys wouldn’t be getting paid so handsomely if anyone could do it.
4. “Come Up Short”
Are they trying to describe the scrum half?
5. “Going Upstairs”
Is the ref really going all that way or is he actually just pushing the button on his mic?
6. “Plan B”
Why stop there? What about plan’s C,D,E,F & G
7. “Loves To Run With The Ball”
Isn’t that what he gets paid to do?
8. “Nails It”
Are we on a building site or in a rugby stadium?
9. “Overcooks It”
Well he shouldn’t be in the bloody kitchen then should he!
10. “Knows The Way To The Try Line”
It’s one end of the pitch or the other, surely he doesn’t need a bloody map?
11. “Down To The Wire”
What does that even mean?
12. “Could Go Either Way”
13. “Proud Of The Boys”
Really? After that performance?
14. “They Wanted It More”
Well why the hell are you bothering to play professional rugby?
15. “He Backed Himself”
You mean he’s not supposed to doubt himself?
16. “It Depends On Which Team Turns Up”
Wasn’t this game organised 18 months ago?
17. “Picked It Up Off His Laces”
This isn’t bloody football!
18. “They Played For The Full 80”
You mean they didn’t decide to call it quits after 60 minutes?
19. “Fronted Up”
You’re not going to be much use facing backwards are you?
20. “There Are No Easy Games”
What about that time you beat them 111-0?
21. “Aerial Ping Pong”
No this is rugby!
22. “Work In Progress”
No you’re just s**t!
23. “A Game For All Shapes And Sizes”
Trying telling my three foot tall cousin Dennis that!
24. “Keeping Hold Of The Ball”
Aren’t I right in thinking that’s the whole point of the game?
25. “A Game Of Two Halves”
I should bloody hope so given the price of this ticket.
26. “He Can’t Run Without His Legs”
I’m no doctor but I think you might just be correct.
27. “Soft Hands”
Maybe he needs to put down the moisturiser and get his hands dirty then?
28. “Strength In Depth”
So they’re breaking the salary cap then?
29. “The Bigger They Are The Harder They Fall”
Nice one Einstein, maybe you could help explain the theory of relativity next.
30. “It’s A Big Ask”
You might as well just give them the points now!
31. “I’m Looking For A New Challenge”
Current club didn’t offer you a new contract eh?
32. “We’ll Take The Positives”
There were positives from that?
33. “Forwards Win Games, Backs Decide By How Much”
What do you think is currently the worst cliché in rugby?