The rugby stuff comes in the second part of this post – so bear with me.


The term ‘Reality TV’ is an oxymoron (with the emphasis on the second and third syllables!).

It isn’t real for a start – the producers put together a mixed (up) bunch of idiots who are opinionated, ego-centric, mad, plainly moronic, wildly eccentric or just simply weird. They then tell them they will be famous if they act dopey and shout (as in ‘normal for Norfolk’). A camera is then shoved in their stupid faces. Frequently they use celebrities no one has ever heard of – and even an entire dysfunctional family on occasion.


The ensuing footage is then carefully edited to produce ‘artificially programmed’ programmes.

It is cheap TV – in every sense of the word.

There are now series on estate agents, allotments, sewing, baking, benefits, executive jobs for t***s and people who live in the same street or area. I mean – estate agents for f***s sake!

What now? ‘Britain’s Next Top Corrupt Banker?’; ‘I’m a Politician, get me out an Expenses Sheet?’ Assuming it is illegal to cull the producers and TV execs (a law that is sadly yet to be passed); there is a way to prevent this junk being made – stop f*****g watching it!

The ads pay for it – if no one watches, the advertisers will presumably get a bit miffed. Of course we’ll still have the reality tripe on the BBC which we have to pay for via the ‘licence to make rubbish’ fee. But not to worry, the inflated salaries and ridiculous pay for minor celebs that the BBC fork out will soon stop it anyway – there’ll be fuck all left to make any programmes with.

Anyway – rugby.

Here we have some real-time reality TV – the use of a TMO.


Luckily I recorded the Harlequins v Tigers game on Friday, so I’ve been able to watch the apparently non ‘forward pass’ in Leicester’s first try. I think I’ve watched it more now than the TMO did on Friday.

Assuming we both had access to the same footage and all the multi angle camera shots I can only assume he was glued to the allotment programme and couldn’t be arsed to watch the game or the replays.

From every angle the bloke who was catching it got the ball about a yard ahead of where the bloke who chucked it was when he let go. I don’t know about you, but that seemed to me like it might have gone a tad forward.

There is now a lot of talk about which way the passer’s hands are pointing rather than the direction the ball actually travels in.

Law 12 states –

‘A throw forward occurs when a player throws or passes the ball forward. ‘Forward’ means towards the opposing team’s dead ball line.’

There is absolutely f**k all about pointing his hands, giving the ref the finger or making a silent prayer sign for the TMO’s forgiveness.

Of course we could just make it okay to pass forward and not to have to actually touch the ball down – then we could scrap the Premiership and join the NFL.

Alternatively we could give my old physics teacher a bell and ask him to explain to anyone who cares about the game how a chucking forward movement works in time and space.

Or we could just turn over and watch the estate agents being twats, I suppose