As I have indicated before, I suffered a concussion on several occasions on the pitch and I firmly believe it did me no harm…. and you are?… sorry, where’s that pink banana casserole?….my old man’s a mushroom etcetera!


Er (shaking head) right.. what was I saying?.. look, will someone please squash that giant rhinoceros with the noisy wings, I can’t hear myself shave.  No matter…


Anyway, back to the world of dreams – there was an article from the RFU earlier this week about the increased number of concussions in rugby.

Apparently there was a ‘rise from 5.1 concussions per 1,000 hours played in 2011-12 to 6.7 last season is a result of greater awareness.

Concussions are still the most common injury in Premiership matches with 54 in matches, and five in training.’

Well I don’t know about you, but my view is that if this bloke plays 1,000 hours in one season he’s a bit off his head to start with. Even with stoppage time and endless scrum collapses that’s quite a lot of game time and he must be playing several times every weekend. No wonder he’s forgetting to get his noggin out of the way, he’s probably dead on his feet most of the year.


Apparently he got 50 odd concussions whilst playing and another 5 whilst training – I mean why the fuck did he need to train? – he must have been fit as a flea from playing all the time. Talking of which, I think there’s a flea in my head most days…buzz, buzz fucking buzz – he obviously wants to be a wasp impersonator – I suppose that’s why he’s wearing a black and yellow striped shirt Brenda!

Oh – there you are! Well I’m with the RFU on this – let’s have no more nonsense about making rugby competitive – make it all touch rugby and give this bloke a break – preferably in an asylum with the rest of the nutters – come to think of it there’s an empty bed next to mine as it happens!

Nurse! All these people are starting to get on my…oh never mind.. they’ve gone now.