Now obviously this is just for a bit of a laugh before the health and safety bods or the maneaters, sorry Suarez fans jump in. However, as a concept I believe this has some real potential in helping rid football of its nasty (not so) little diving problem.
Let’s face it, currently these footballing primadonnas receive a ban for a couple of weeks if any punishment is served at all. This means sitting around in giant mansions, continuing to be paid hundreds of thousands of pounds to do absolutely nothing other than sit on their arses. Instead why not put them to good use and turn them into human tackle bags for the forwards. Somehow I can’t imagine Luis Suarez turning around to take a bite out of Bakkies Botha when 125 kg of Springbok is bearing down on him full steam ahead.
The basic concept is that for each week the player would have been banned for, they instead have to play in a game of rugby, so a 3 week ban would turn into 3 games of rugby. The more severe the offence the further forward in the team they play. This means a slightly late challenge would only result in a player spending a couple of weeks on the wing or at full-back, whilst Suarez would be spending the next 8 games playing in the front row for having taken a bit out of a fellow plater.
This is not about punishing players who show commitment and aggression in football, more about penalising those who show un-gentlemanly conduct in the game. Therefore diving, swearing, abusing match officials and other such actions would be subject to these sanctions whilst general foul play would still be dealt with in the usual manner. We are not looking to discourage players from playing with their heart on their sleeves, just simply eradicate the shocking behaviour that has become so prominent in the modern game.
Somehow I can’t imagine the likes of Suarez or Ronaldo persistently tripping over themselves in search of penalties when they face the possibility of joining the likes of Cian Healy and Dan Cole in the front row. Not only would this provide an incentive for players to clean up their act, but would provide great entertainment for rugby fans across the globe. Who wouldn’t pay to see certain footballers being forced to man-up instantly – proceeds could even be donated to charity.
Let us know what you think…
*Big thank you to @Dibsterd for providing us with the great images.