Press Exchange

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I suppose it was only to be expected – after Saturday’s match there are reams of column inches on what the implications are – for both sides.

The English media are hailing the performance of our ‘second’ string whilst the New Zealand papers are focussing on how rusty the All Blacks were – but still won.

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There are a multitude of excuses and reasons given for both teams plus bold statements about how it will all be different in Dunedin next week.

The truth is it all came as a bit of a shock to nearly everyone – mostly to me, as you will know if you’ve followed this blog – www.rugbyoldbloke.wordpress.com – at all over the last 7 days. I have never ever been so delighted to be wrong – except maybe that time when I thought a copper had caught me having a waz in an alley.

There have been some laughable articles in the New Zealand press – blokes who wrote us off on Friday are now claiming that Savea and Read would have stuffed us – totally ignoring the fact that we were also missing a couple of first choices.

But the best one (also in the Herald) claims that we cheated by delaying arrival at the set pieces in order to get our breath back. This twat seemingly didn’t notice (along with Nigel Owens) that Nonu and Ben Smith also cheated just a little bit! He’s the Sunday Herald’s rugby writer apparently and I can only imagine they pay him with KP Dry Roasted. Personally I wouldn’t trust him to write a message for the milkman without fucking it up. His final thought is that the game will morph into American Football if England have their way – in case you hadn’t noticed it already has mate with all the bollocks about forward passes being okay if your hands are pointing behind you. An idea that originated in the Southern Hemisphere and is about as credible as Qatar’s claim that 125 degrees is a perfect climate for playing footie. http://www.nzherald.co.nz/rugby/news/article.cfm?c_id=80&objectid=11270093 An English paper – well the Star anyway – had an ‘exclusive’ with former All Black Taine Randall who stated “The England team that has turned up to play the First Test against the All Blacks is just another sign of disrespect to New Zealand rugby from the northern hemisphere. Teams from north of the equator have had a long history of sending second-rate teams South, – I’m not quite sure what planet he’s been on for the last few months. Even my bastard cat knows that it was the NZRFU who refused to move the first test back a week to allow the Premiership Final teams to be considered.

Still it was an interesting change from the Star’s usual diet of stories about reality TV idiots. Stuff which, I imagine, appeals to those who see the Star as an occasional alternative to colouring in and masturbation. The final media bit comes from South Africa (Sport 24) – where one pundit took great delight in suggesting that the All Blacks are a spent force (an idea which, incidentally, has nothing to do with police corruption). http://news24.com/sport24/Rugby/The-All-Blacks-are-in-trouble-20140609

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Whilst I would love this to be true I think I’ll hold off judgement for the next couple of weeks. An unbeaten run of 15 matches doesn’t seem to me to suggest that they are in really deep trouble. Whatever happens we can expect more garbage from the press – sadly probably in both hemispheres – this will include speculation on the selection (already started), Eric Pickles favourite salad and what colour Joe Marler’s hair will be next week.

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