For some time various authorities have increasingly become more namby pamby in their attitudes to risk – kids can’t play conkers any more, you can’t change a light bulb at work without training and brain surgeons can only operate if they are less than half pissed (okay, so I made the last one up, but you get my drift)
Now the RFU are introducing a new rule in rugby – ‘it wants clubs and schools to switch players between sides at half time if the score is too one sided and ban trophies from tournaments for the under 11s.
What a brilliant idea – non- competitive rugby and the RFU at the forefront of innovative sporting prowess!
Come on you other sports get with the programme – maybe in boxing the bloke ahead on points after round 5 should have his shoe laces tied together, in swimming a Great White could be chucked in at the turn to slow down anyone who is a few metres ahead. In football a sniper could take out a striker who looks like he might get a hat-trick – actually that’s not a bad idea – especially if he has a stupid haircut.
But seriously I think the RFU are onto something here – if they can get it approved before next year’s World Cup we should have a much better chance in the ‘group of death’.
If Wales are beating us at half-time we could swap in George North, Jonathan Davies and Sam and get back in the match. Against the Aussies we could grab Quade Copper, Will Genia and David Pocock and give what’s left of the Wallabies a damn good thrashing!
I played rugby (or turned up anyway) for forty years and was on the end of a number of hidings at all levels – it never occurred to me that it would be fun if some of their players could put on an Askean shirt if we were getting thumped. We also dished out a few including a Kent Cup game we won by 150 – 3 (again details are on here somewhere) and the Dukes rarely won by less than 40 points. The idea that some of us should change jerseys at half time is just fucking stupid – it may come as a bit of a shock to the blokes at Twickenham but we liked winning!
At school we once lost 75 – 0 to Colfe’s – I wrote about it in a post right at the beginning of this blog – I’m starting to wonder if maybe this didn’t badly affect me and the traumatic experience has scarred me for life (as did many opponents over the years as it happens)
I think I’ll have to check out if I can sue the school, RFU and Kent Society (the Union not the toffs) for PTSD – I imagine it could be worth a few bob. I know it sounds stupid but then that would put me in good company!
Vince Lombardi (Coach of Green Bay Packers) famously said
“If winning doesn’t matter why bother keeping score” – a smart bloke who also said “American Football is a violent game. To play it any other way but violently would be imbecilic”. He’d have been a good rugby coach I think.
Maybe the RFU would like to get rid of any form of scoring at all (some of the England backs are already trying to introduce this).
The players could just all run around in a big rectangle – obviously there wouldn’t be a ball – I mean imagine the irreparable damage to a kids psyche if he dropped it and had the others taking the piss!
For fuck’s sake RFU – get a bleeding grip!