It’s a Knockout

I read on a rugby site that the RFU are organising concussion training for professional rugby players and coaches in England.

Saracens v Harlequins

And about time too – it’s one of those areas that needs some proper bloody instruction.

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What wasn’t clear in the coverage I saw is whether the training is designed for how to dish out some severe disorientation or how to avoid it happening to you!

Perhaps the application of head banging will be, rather appropriately, reserved for forwards (in particular the front row) and the contriving not to be involved in any sense (or lack of it) will be for us nancy blokes outside the scrum.

Having myself suffered from concussion on several occasions (mostly on the field) I feel amply suited to give a seminar on the subject – for the backs anyway. These qualifications include being knocked into the middle of next week by John Bevan (Wales and British Lions) in a match against St Luke’s and getting similar treatment from another Lion – Arthur Lewis in Ebbw Vale. Both incidents have already been covered in earlier posts here.

I am thinking of setting up an online training programme for this – it will cover the four basic rules for the three quarters –

  1. Never attempt to trip up an opponent using your head
  2. Under no circumstances tackle anyone
  3. Avoid Glasgow handshakes (including before and after the game – concussion can be inflicted just as easily in the bar)
  4. If all else fails spend Saturday afternoons playing tiddlywinks or watching re-runs of the twats on ‘TOWIE’

Obviously none of these (in particular number three) apply to forwards!

Just follow these simple rules and frankly you can’t go wrong.

Unfortunately I have absolutely no idea how to dish out severe headaches or nose bleeds to your opposite number so I can’t help you there. However I am going to the pre-match lunch at Askeans on Saturday and I will endeavour to have a word with Scrapper, Kieran, Lunny, Sean Mc and (obviously) Chunky to see if I can get some advice (hopefully this won’t involve a practical demonstration).

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